Episode 18: The Power of Naming Your Mom Modes

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You are not one version of yourself. You’re a whole cast of characters, each one with her own wisdom, energy, and role to play.

In this episode, we explore the power of naming your mom archetypes and choosing, on purpose, who leads throughout your day. From Efficient Household Manager to Netflix Scrunchie Mom, from Emotionally Patient Mom to Dancing Martini Mom, every part of you matters. And when you let them take turns instead of fighting for control, everything softens.

You’ll learn a simple, grounded way to shift into presence without guilt, tap into joy without overwhelm, and honor every version of you without losing yourself in the blur.

What You'll Learn

• How naming your everyday “mom modes” can help reduce mental overwhelm
• Why switching roles isn’t the problem, it’s doing it unconsciously that drains us
• The difference between choosing who leads vs. trying to be everything at once
• A simple three-step practice for shifting into the energy you actually need
• Why honoring your full cast of selves brings more presence, creativity, and ease

Episode Transcript

You know that feeling when your brain is trying to parent, lead a meeting, and binge Netflix all at once?

Me too.

What I’ve realized is, I’m not just one version of me. I’m a whole cast of characters.

There’s the one who handles logistics like a boss. The one who speaks in a soft voice and listens for a living. The one in fuzzy socks who refuses to wear a bra. The one who stays out too late dancing and reminds me I’m still alive.

And when I try to be all of them at once—or expect myself to be all of them in the same day, I short-circuit.

This episode is about what happens when we name those roles, honor them, and choose, on purpose, who leads the moment we’re in.

Because I don’t want to balance it all.

I want to direct it—with clarity, and just one leading role at a time.

Let’s get into my cast and then let’s meet your cast.

SEGMENT 1: MEET THE ARCHETYPES

So as I share my cast of characters with you, I invite you to start daydreaming: Who are the different versions of you that show up across a week?

And I want to invite you to play with this idea:

What if you started naming the different roles you slip into—not to judge or rank them, or get exasperated that you’re playing so many roles, but to actually honor them? I look at them with fascination. 

I’ll share mine, and maybe while I talk, you can start identifying a few of your own.

First up is household manager mom.

She moves through the house like a general.
She’s got three to-do lists and one AirPod in.
She thrives on order, label makers, and doing six things before breakfast.
She’s the one making sure we don’t run out of toilet paper or show up to school in Halloween costumes… on the wrong day.

Maybe you have your own version of her? Maybe she shows up with a calendar and a tight ponytail and says, “Let’s just get this done.”

Second up is emotionally present mom.

This is the mom who kneels down, makes eye contact, and says, “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

She’s tuned in. Regulated. Grounded.

She says things like, “You’re allowed to feel that,” and actually means it.

You might feel her come out when you’re parenting from your values instead of your schedule. She’s the one who reminds you that connection is the real goal.

Next up is Netflix scrunchie mom.

She wears the softest clothes and has absolutely nothing to prove.
She doesn’t want to discuss anyone’s feelings.
She just wants legal drama and snacks. She is not available for productivity right now.

You might recognize her if you’ve ever thought, “I need to turn my brain off” while climbing under a weighted blanket.

And then finally, there’s all-night dancing mom.

This one is a recent plot twist.

Because until a couple of years ago, I thought my all-night dancing days were a thing of the past. But, honestly, I’ve gone out dancing more since becoming a mom than I did in college.

She is playful with clothing. She is so silly. She laughs loud and fully believes that dancing is a form of healing.

She says yes to joy. Yes to her girlfriends. Yes to staying out too late on purpose.

Now, let’s talk business, because that’s its own little village.

There’s CEO me. She come naturally.

This version of me is focused, clear, decisive. She’s allergic to chaos and doesn’t apologize for taking up space.

She’s not warm, necessarily, but she’s deeply trustworthy. She’s the one who gets us paid.

Do you have a version of this too? That part of you that can handle logistics, say no, protect your time? She might not be everyone's favorite… but she gets things done.

Then there’s marketing me. She does not come as naturally. She’s more shy and unsure herself.

But she is creative and playful. She’s courageous and experimental. 

And then there’s coach me.

She’s listening on the edge of her seat to her clients. She’s fascinated with everything. She believes nothing that isn’t serving her clients and everything that is, no evidence required. She’s infinitely open.

And even coach me has a few flavors.

Sometimes she’s the bold coach. She asks the question you’re trying to avoid, speaks truth with a loving sting.

And sometimes she’s the gentle coach, soothing, soft, and creating an empty container for emotions.  

You might know these parts of you too, when you show up as a guide, a leader, a truth-teller. When someone you love needs support, and you somehow know exactly what to say.

Now here’s the thing:
All of these roles? They’re me.
And I bet you’ve got a full cast too.

Maybe yours don’t have names yet, but I promise you’ve felt them.

The one who keeps the household afloat. The one who dreams about something more. The one who’s tired. The one who’s wildly alive.

The goal isn’t to become just one.

It’s to know who’s in the room—and to choose who gets to lead and when.

So...who are your archetypes?

Start noticing. Start naming. They’ve got wisdom, and they’ve got needs.

And none of them are wrong.

SEGMENT 2: WHY CONSCIOUS ROLE-SHIFTING CHANGES EVERYTHING

So here’s what I’ve realized:

It’s not the number of roles that overwhelms us.

It’s the fact that we don’t consciously choose who’s running the show.

We go from one thing to the next—school drop-off, Zoom meeting, snack prep, therapy call, without really naming who we’re being in any of it. It all starts to blur.

And when all those versions of us show up at the same time, it’s noisy. It’s disorienting.

It’s like trying to be four people at once without giving any of them what they need.

But when I started switching roles on purpose—something shifted.

I stopped expecting emotionally patient mom to get the house cleaned.
I stopped resenting Netflix scrunchie for not being productive.
I stopped dragging CEO me into my marketing time blocks, expecting her to be efficient and decisive. 

Instead, I began saying: “Okay. This is what I’m stepping into. This is who’s needed right now.”

And it brings such a surprising amount of peace.

Because here’s the thing: your nervous system craves clarity.

Your mind wants to know—what are we doing here? What matters in this moment?

When we don't answer that question intentionally, our roles start tripping over each other, and no one is happy.

But when you name who’s leading, and give her full permission to show up—you start to feel more present.

More aligned. More like yourself.

This isn’t about putting on a performance.
It’s not about being fake. It’s about being deliberate.

Efficient you has a purpose.
Patient you has a gift.
Scrunchie-on-the-couch you is sacred.

Each of these roles is valid. Necessary, even.
But none of them can lead all the time.
And that’s okay.

The power isn’t in choosing the “best” version of yourself.

 It’s in choosing on purpose who’s needed in this moment. And letting the rest step back without shame.

Because when you do that, you stop fighting with yourself.
You stop leaking energy, and you start actually feeling like you’re in your life—not just managing it.

SEGMENT 3: THE PRACTICE - HOW TO START ROLE-SHIFTING ON PURPOSE

So how do you actually use these archetypes?

Not just notice them, but actually let them support you instead of exhaust you?

Let me walk you through a really simple rhythm I use in my own life. It’s not a formula. It’s not rigid. Just a gentle practice to help you feel more like you, one moment at a time.

Step One: Name Your Cast

Start by noticing who already shows up throughout your day.

Who’s running the house on a busy Monday morning?
Who comes out when you’re on the floor with your kid, trying to stay present?
Who takes the mic when the music’s loud and the drinks are strong and you’re out way too late?
And who shows up when you finally collapse into the couch with snacks and no bra and the same show you’ve rewatched three times?

You might already feel these versions of you without having named them yet.

Just notice.
Who are the parts of you that show up most often?
What do they believe?
When do they thrive?
And what do they need?

Create a name, a vibe, a moment of recognition. That’s where this starts.

Step Two: Choose Who's Leading

 Before you shift into the next part of your day, pause—just for a beat—and ask:

“Who do I want to lead right now?”

Not what should I do.
Not who do people expect.
But which version of me is best equipped for this moment?

Maybe it’s Coach Me who knows how to hold space.
Maybe it’s CEO Me who knows how to make the decision.
Maybe it’s Scrunchie Me who says, “Let’s shut it down for the night.”

Step Three: Let the Others Step Back—Without Shame

Here’s the piece most of us skip:
When one version of you is leading, the rest of you gets to rest.

They don’t need to fight for airtime. They don’t need to explain themselves.

If netflix scrunchie mom is in charge, CEO you can wait till morning.
If emotionally patient mom is leading, household manager mom doesn’t need to hover and check the clock.

Just let them step back.
Not because they’re bad. Not because they’re wrong.
But because it’s not their turn right now.

You are not failing by not being all things at once.
You are resourcing yourself—wisely—by choosing.

That’s it. That’s the practice.
It’s not rigid. It’s not perfect. But it’s powerful.
Name who’s here. Choose who leads. Let the others rest and notice the clarity and energy you gain.