Episode 25: Bounce House Balls & Better Thoughts

Catch this episode on Apple, Spotify, or Android. 

In this episode, Amanda turns a big idea into an easy mental game: your thought creates your result. We walk through three everyday moments, hosting with bounce‑house balls and mysterious house piles, over‑prepping for a client, and late‑night wheat thins, and practice flipping the default story to its literal opposite (with three pieces of evidence for your brain) for a quick 10% shift in mindset and results that add up over time.

What You'll Learn

• How to separate facts from your brain’s story in under 10 seconds
• Why your brain thinks the fact causes your feelings (threat scan, gold stars, identity)
• The powerful self-coaching model in real life—no jargon
• The literal‑opposite trick (not affirmations) + how to gather three pieces of evidence to rewire your brain
• An easy action step so you that you can use it this week and make your life feel easier

Episode Transcript

Last weekend I hosted a pizza party for my daughter’s soccer team. Twelve kids, five pizza boxes…and my two personal nemeses: bounce‑house balls scattered all over the backyard and those mysterious little piles of random things that appear on every flat surface in my house.

While parents were just trying to keep their kids from eating 16 popsicles, my brain whispered, “You should’ve picked up those balls…and those piles. They’re going to think you’re not on top of things.” Meanwhile, the actual circumstances were: children, pizza, plastic balls, and objects on counters. Of course no one else noticed. They were busy being humans.

These are the kind of tiny thoughts I care about—the quiet ones that steal two percent of your energy and nudge you out of the moment. This is low-hanging fruit for easy mindset tools that invite you into a much more peaceful existence without you having to change your  career, partner, or body to feel good.

My specialty is taking research-based, therapy‑adjacent skills and making them light, usable, and a little fun—so you can keep your chill and make a complicated life feel easier. This isn’t “fix yourself.” My coaching method is like a mental game with moves you can learn to make your life more joyful.

This season, we’re going back to basics: the ten mindset skills I teach every client, mapped across the four natural phases of growth—Awareness, Acceptance, Authenticity, Alignment.

Each episode includes a real‑life story, one tool, and a quick action step you can try this week. We’re not overhauling your life. We’re stacking 10% wins that add up to feeling 100% more like yourself.

Today we start with the foundation: Managing Your Mind. Here’s the cheat code: it isn’t your circumstances that create your feelings. It’s the thought you have about them.

So we’ll practice separating facts from the story, checking whether that story gives you a result you actually like, and trying a believable opposite that frees up energy—on the spot.

So pick one tiny area you want to feel 10% better this week, and see if you can relate the tools to your real life.
Ready? Let’s play.

SEGMENT 1: WHY THIS FEELS HARD

So this self-coaching stuff isn’t hard, but it can feel really hard because of the how human brain works. But here’s the thing: your brain isn’t out to get you. It’s just using dated software. There are three reasons for this.

Reason 1: We all have threat‑scanner brains.
Brains are built to notice potential problems because, once upon a time there were tigers trying to eat us.
But now bounce‑house balls migrating across the yard and little piles of stuff breeding on every flat surface can feel like a threat. It’s the same alarm system with new décor. Your brain flags “possible danger,” even when the actual circumstance is: children + pizza + plastic balls + things on surfaces.

Reason 2 that the small stuff can feel heavy: I and most of my listeners have gold‑star conditioning.
Many of us were praised for being prepared and “on top of it.” So our brains quietly decided: order = safety, mess = danger. Which is why a harmless pile of mail can feel like a performance review.

And reason 3: Tiny circumstances can actually trigger subconscious thoughts about our identity.
If you’ve been the reliable one, the organized one, the achiever, a tiny miss doesn’t read as “oops” in your body. It reads as “who even am I.” It’s not. It’s a sock on the stairs. Or a wheat thin at 9:47 p.m.

None of this means anything has gone wrong. It just means your brain is doing its job a little too enthusiastically.
And once you can see that, you can say, “Thanks, brain. I’ll take it from here.”

Up next is the simple tool I use to put things in perspective in a logical, analytical way—the self-coaching model. It’s rooted in cognitive behavioral psychology, and the best part is you don’t have to wait for your next therapy session to use it. You can apply it in real time, on bouncehouse balls, meetings, and late-night snacks.

SEGMENT 2: COACHING

So let’s look at some examples from my life. 

The first story I want to tell you is about the bounce‑house balls, little piles, and the party setup with my daughter, Sawyer. We’re setting up for a post-game pizza party. It’s that pre‑party window where I could be having fun with my daughter—arranging the snacks, taste‑testing some pizza, letting her put the popsicles in the cooler.

Instead, my brain clocks two things: bounce‑house balls scattered across the yard and those little piles of “mystery items” that appear on every flat surface. If you’re a mom, you know the piles I’m talking about.

And here comes the sentence: “The other moms are going to think I’m not on top of things.”

This is a completely subconscious line of thinking unless I pause and notice it. I could just swat it away and tell myself they won’t care, but if I investigate a little deeper, just 30 seconds deeper, I can actually let go of the thought instead of just dismissing whatever deep part of myself is trying to speak to me. This is how actual healing occurs and confidence emerges.

So when I buy that thought, I feel a little anxious, and I start swarm‑tidying. The result? That easy setup moment with my daughter gets crowded out. Not a crisis—just not the connection I wanted. The secret to an easy life is paying attention to these micro stress moments because over time, they stack up and feel heavy, and this just isn’t necessary.

So here’s how I walk it through in real time:

- The facts are boring—kids, pizza, balls, piles. The spicy part is the thought: “They’re going to think I’m not on top of things.”

- My power leaks when my brain assumes the facts are causing the feeling—classic threat‑scanner + gold‑star conditioning. So it tells me to fix the facts (chase balls, shuffle piles) to calm down instead of just noticing my optional story.

- Then the key is to point out for your subconscious brain that the “helpful” thought actually costs me the result I want: a light, playful setup with my kid. That’s the proof my brain needs—this thought isn’t working, even if it feels responsible.

Now I try the literal opposite. If the default story is “They’re going to think I’m not on top of things,” the opposite is:

“They’re going to think I’m on top of things.”

It really is this simple. You don’t need a clever affirmation. Just rewrite the opposite of the shitty thought in your head. 

I practice believing it by finding three pieces of evidence that make it more true for me, for example:

1. The party is organized: pizza ordered, drinks cold, napkins out.

2. There’s a plan: start time set, bounce house inflated, activities ready.

3. My track record: I’m extremely organized, and people tell me this regularly.

When I let those land, my body softens about 10%. And with that 10%, I put down a pile, hand my daughter the snacks, and we go load up the cooler together. That’s the point.

Let’s look at a work example. See if you can see yourself in this. Mine is about over‑preparing for a client vs. giving presence.

So it’s a normal Tuesday. The fact is that I have a client session at 2:00 pm.

My brain offers: “I need to memorize every detail from last session.”

Believing it, I feel pressured and start re‑reading notes and overplanning the session. By the time we begin, I’m a little tight, slightly performative. The priceless thing—non‑judgmental, fully present space—gets diluted just a little bit. I know I’m still a phenomenal coach, but I also know that any amount of anxiety and pressure softens my power just a little bit. 

So let’s walk through it. Think about the last time you over prepared and see yourself.

- Fact vs. thought: Fact: “Client at 2.” Thought: “I need to memorize every detail from last time.”

- Where my power leaks: I treat the amount of prep time like it caused the pressure (gold‑star identity: “be perfect”), so I try to fix the fact with over‑prep. But the pressure came from the subconscious thought “I need to memorize every detail.”

- Result check: The thought promised “better coaching,” but the result is the opposite of what creates breakthroughs—less presence, less intuition. That’s my brain’s evidence that this “help” doesn’t help.

So then I do a mental flip to the literal opposite:

“I don’t need to memorize every detail from last time.”

Now gather three pieces of evidence:

1. I have notes I can glance at if needed—memory isn’t the only option.

2. My best sessions come from presence and curiosity, not a script—I’ve seen it over and over.

3. Memorizing can bias me toward last week’s story; presence lets the client be new today.

With that, I feel steadier. I do reasonable review, then protect presence. The session breathes. The result is the one I actually want.

Story 3: Wheat Thins and cheese at 9:47 p.m.
And here’s one we can all relate to: late-night snacking when you’ve set a goal to eat dinner and close the kitchen. And look, don’t get me wrong, if you want to snack, snack ladies, snack. This is just if you have set a specific goal not to, which is fairly common for me and many women I coach.

So it’s 9:47 p.m. And the fact is that I’m tired, not that I’m actually hungry.
My brain whispers: “Wheat thins and cheese will make me feel better.”
When I believe it, I feel restless, snack and scroll, and end up a little sluggish. Not ruined—just not restored.

Walk it through:

- Where my power leaks: I act like tired is creating restlessness—so I try to fix the fact with food (hello, quick dopamine). But the restless feeling came from the thought about what would make me feel better.

- Result check: The “comfort” story doesn’t deliver comfort. It delivers sluggish. My brain needs to see that.

Now the literal opposite:

“Wheat thins and cheese will not make me feel better.”

And the three pieces of evidence:

1. Every time I do this, I feel heavier—not better—ten minutes later.

2. A glass of water and lights‑out usually give me actual relief.

3. On nights I’m truly hungry, a small intentional snack helps; on nights I’m just tired, food doesn’t. Tonight I’m tired.

With that evidence, I try the 10% softer move: water, quick stretch, bed. If I’m still hungry after, I can eat on purpose—no drama. Most nights, I don’t need it.

The quiet wonder
This is the simple, almost sneaky part of managing your mind: the literal opposite of a limiting thought is usually available, and often more true for you once you look for evidence.

Your brain offers the first story to keep you safe and shiny (threat scan, gold stars, identity). You don’t have to fight it. Just show it the math:

- Here’s the fact.

- Here’s the thought I added.

- Here’s how I tried to change the fact to feel better (didn’t work).

- Here’s the result I actually created (don’t love it).

- And here’s the opposite thought with three reasons it serves me better—feel that 10% shift.

That’s the whole move. Tiny, doable, and it works everywhere—from balls and piles, to client prep, to wheat thins at 9:47 p.m.

 SEGMENT 3: ACTION STEPS

Before we wrap, let’s make this useful in your actual week.
Pick one tiny friction you’re dealing with right now. Something low‑drama but annoying: a recurring work call, a messy entryway, bedtime snacking, that text thread you keep overthinking. Got it?

Close your eyes for five seconds and picture the scene. Where are you? Who else is there? What time is it? See it like you’re watching a clip of your own life.

Now write this down—it matters in the beginning:

What’s the one‑line fact?
Say the boring version a security camera would record. One sentence only.

What’s the sentence your brain offers?
Write the exact thought—word for word. No editing. This is the one that quietly drains your energy.

When you believe that thought, how do you feel?
One word if you can: anxious, pressured, restless, annoyed.

From that feeling, what do you do next?
Name the action you take (or don’t take).

What result does that create for you?
Keep it ordinary: less present, more tense, a little scattered.

Do you like that result?
Yes or no. If no, your brain just got data: this thought isn’t helping.

Now we flip it—literally:

What is the literal opposite of your thought?
Write the opposite sentence exactly. No pep‑talk. Just the inverse.

Find three pieces of evidence—right now—for why the opposite could be more true for you.
Keep them simple. Look at the scene, your track record, or anything you can verify today. Three is the magic number. Keep your mind open to the possibility that you have the evidence if you look for it.

Read the opposite sentence slowly.
Notice a 10% softening in your jaw, shoulders, or breath. That body cue is your scoreboard.

Choose one tiny action you’ll take next.
The smallest next move that fits the opposite story. One thing.

If you’re hearing this before the moment, set a cue now—a sticky note, a 30‑minute timer, a glass of water by the bed.

If you’re in the moment, whisper the fact out loud, flip to the opposite, name your three proofs, and take the one small action.

If you’re after the moment, do a 60‑second replay in your notes and set one cue for next time.

Here’s the encouragement part:
At first, write it. Writing slows the spin and teaches your brain the path.
After a few reps, you’ll do this in your head in under 15 seconds.
That’s when it starts to feel like instant relief in everyday stress.

SEGMENT 4: CONCLUSION

Alright, let’s land this plane.

Today’s move in one line:
Name the fact, spot the default thought, check the result it creates… then flip to the literal opposite and gather three proofs.

You’re not fixing yourself—you’re updating old software. Aim for a 10% shift you can feel in your shoulders and jaw. Stack a few, and you’ll feel 100% more like yourself.

Want help doing this with your real life?
Inside my 90‑Day Mastermind, we spend a full training on this skill. You bring your exact scenarios—the balls and piles, the over‑prep, the 9:47 Wheat Thins—and we run your Model in real time. We flip to the literal opposite, collect your three proofs, and set one tiny action so you feel 10% better on purpose each week.
Six live coaching workshops, audio lessons to your phone, and a private community of high‑achieving women. The link is in the show notes—come do this with us.

Next up, we’re going to talk about releasing control when everyone else feels like a problem.

We’re talking about the secret rulebooks we write for other humans—and how dropping them makes you feel instantly lighter. Bring your partner, your boss, your group chat… and your sense of humor.

Pocket mantra for the road:
Facts are boring. Thoughts are optional. Results are chosen.

Thanks for listening—see you next week!

Thanks for listening to Choose Better Thoughts. If this episode helped, send it to a friend who could use the same shift. And if you’re enjoying the show, tap follow, hit the like button, or leave a quick review. It only takes a minute and it means more women can find these tools when they need them most. And thank you!